Love, life, and something in between

Khunnais,

Probably because it's new year. Probably because I just had a hair cut. Probably because yesterday I watched Hanamizuki. Probably because I went to see a fortune teller recently. Whatever the reason is.. I was thinking about this on my way home from work, and I wanted to capture it.

It's January 2011, which means I'm getting a year older. And I asked myself how I feel. And I told myself that I feel good, no scratch that, I feel great. And I'm single, super single actually. Super single means that you are single and you are not on the progress of not being one. So I wondered why. Aren't I supposed to be worried about my status in life, about finding the right one, about getting married, about settling down, about not wasting time being single? I wondered why I feel great despite all that.

And then I countered myself, why not? Why can't I feel great just because I'm not in a relationship, and on the way to marriage? I'm not saying that I don't want to be in one, and that I don't want love, or a boyfriend, or a husband. I just don't rush it, when I say "it", I mean "life". I'm just not worried when I happen to be in the idle phase in this segment of life. I just take life as it comes to me. Today, other segments seem to occupy more time for me. So be it. Love will come, and go, and come again, and will eventually stay (for a while at least), and will eventually go. There is no point anticipating, or worrying, or feeling guilty.

I was fighting back and forth with myself whether to write this. Because it might appear like I'm being defensive, or sour grape. Whatever it may appear. I wanted to write this so that one day when I'm lost in the waves of others' thoughts, when people are putting thoughts into my head that somehow my life is incomplete, wasted, and not fulfilled just because of the status I choose to be in, I can come back and read what I think & write today.

I also want to remind me when I re-read this. That I'm not anti love. I had loved. I'd lost it, and found it again. And that I love being in love, and I also love being alone. I still cherish love so much so that I will surely embrace it when it comes around. I'm therefore not anti marriage. I'm ready for both. When they are ready for me. But in the mean time, I'm not gonna waste time being unhappy.

Live high. Live mighty. Live righteously.